Porny Burglar Thwarted by Cab Call
Don't do this at anybody else's home burglar-wannabes: Don't rob someone and then call a frickin' cab from the landline so your lame ass can get picked up.
As hard as it is for rational human beings to comprehend, that's precisely what porn loving 20-year-old Ricky Patterson did recently after having knocked over only one in what is likely at least a dozen apartments he's robbed – if not stained the couch while visiting without an invitation.
According to police, “Purse Burglar” Patterson was almost home when the St. Matthews police took him into custody for having knocked over the home of Kyle Hardin and his wife.
Patterson's fatal mistake wasn't sticking around long enough to watch 90 minutes worth of four pay-per-view porn flicks he'd ordered on the Hardin's account. No, it was exhibiting zero planning skills by both calling a local cab company to take his lazy ass home and trying to steal the Harbin's car.
Louisville police, contend that Patterson is likely responsible for dozens of break-ins over more than a year and “wanted a confrontation.”
According to WLKY television, Det. Brad Jeffrey contends that Patterson, who now faces 61 burglary charges, four auto theft charges and two criminal mischief charges, was hoping to be shot by someone in order to put him out of the misery of having had a rough life.
Harbin, who, along with his wife, was awoken 4:30 am by a Yellow Cab drive checking to see if they really wanted a cab and further surprised to see their Saturn surrounded by police cars, opined that “It's sad. It really is sad. You want to be angry at the same time you want to be safe for the guy.”